#45: MY KIND OF FUN
This Week: Work Fun, Sober Fun, Family Fun
~5 Min
I GOT TO SPEND A LITTLE TIME WITH CHRIS PAUL LAST WEEK. This is my kind of fun! First of all, Chris is an awesome guy. We talked about so many things. He was open, affable, kind and direct. We even drew up plays on a whiteboard together. One part of our conversation stood out. Chris has been in the NBA for over half his life. I asked him why he keeps playing:
“I love it so much. It’s so much fun. I can’t wait until the next time I play.”
A CHALLENGE
What do you find fun?
Earlier this week, I asked my family. Number one for my 13-year-old was going to eat, Lee Anne said watching her children do something they love and my 17-year-old left me on read.
To answer for myself, I needed a definition: fun is an enjoyable activity or experience that brings amusement or light-hearted pleasure. I also needed to differentiate between joy and happiness.
AS I GET OLDER, I’VE FOUND FUN IS HARDER which is strange because the quality of my fun activities is off the charts. I come into regular contact with interesting people who do extraordinary things (Chris Paul!). More often than advisable, I eat the most incredible meals and drink great wine, usually with people that I love and choose to spend time with. My access to fun is elite. Money helps but the correlation of money to fun is far weaker upon close examination. Have you ever found yourself in an incredible place only to realize fun is absent? The most elite fun is the kind that doesn’t cost a dime.
The Move: Seek out more fun in life without skirting responsibilities or spending more money.
Bonus Move: Figure out what your kids/parents/friends/clients think is fun and then do that.
MY FRIEND JAMES IS THE CEO OF A START UP that does business with the government. His company saves taxpayers money. Typically when he shows up, walls go up. The fear of looking incompetent is real. Finding wasted money leads to finger pointing. James has to be careful, he told me:
“I have so much fun breaking through the excuses used to deny the savings. I almost see it as a game. I have to remember this is only fun for someone like me.”
PETER IS THE CEO OF SAXUM. The company had a sticky situation this week with one of its clients that was laced with tension and anxiety. On his way home for the weekend he stuck his head in my office with a big smile, “this week was the kind of fun I live for.”
I’VE NOTICED I HAVE MORE FUN WHEN I CARRY MYSELF WITH A LIGHTNESS which means that I’m present, undistracted and not taking things too seriously. It is hard to have fun when things are serious all the time. This is super hard for me to do.
JAMES AND PETER TELL THE SAME STORY. When attachment is low and patterns are clear, fun at work overflows. The work is light and enjoyable.
MY FRIEND TIM SAYS I’M MORE FUN AFTER SOME DRINKS. Ouch. Instead of feeling shame, I saw it as more of a challenge. Could I have more fun with less alcohol?
I admire my sober friends who stay out to midnight laughing and carrying on without alcohol.
They are elite at fun.
WHAT WOULD IT LOOK LIKE TO DO WHAT OTHERS THINK IS FUN AND THEN ADOPT THAT FUN AS YOUR OWN?
TIM KELLER in Making Sense of God: An Invitation for the Skeptical talks about discontent. He describes what happens when our loves are out of order. For instance, it is not wrong to love your work but if you love it more than your family, you’ll find yourself unhappy. There is a natural order to things. You are what you love and the order of importance you put it in.
THE OKC THUNDER ARE HAVING A LOT OF FUN RIGHT NOW as they prepare for the NBA Finals. League MVP Shai Gilgeous-Alexander talked after the Western Conference Finals about his experience:
“I feel like the biggest thing is (my teammates) make the NBA not feel like a job. It can at times, with all the travel and all the hard days, ups and downs. I know I sound spoiled, being in the NBA complaining about hard days, but these guys really make you feel like I’m a kid playing AAU basketball, like I’m 15 years old again. They make it seem like it’s just fun. I think that’s what makes us really good. We have so much fun being out there together.”
MY FRIEND GRAHAM AND I GOT TOGETHER THIS WEEK and talked about how fun it is to build something new. I loved what he texted me after our meeting.
“Some things we build aren’t immediately useful. But the act of building them anyway, with patience and foresight, creates something that’s ready at just the right time. Whether it’s a relationship, a habit, a structure, or a system, sometimes we prepare for a moment that hasn’t yet arrived - and by the time it does, what we built becomes essential.”
TO BE A GOOD HOST IS TO SERVE OTHERS and I’ve noticed that those who do it best have so much fun. Hospitality is fun because you get to see human behavior up close. It is fun to solve someone’s problem. It is fun to watch someone lose their mind over something dumb. It is fun to see someone else enjoying themselves.
A FINAL WORD:
Joy sustains, happiness uplifts, and fun energizes.
Faith improves my life. Here is a verse I like from the Bible:
I read this in the newspaper this week and wanted to share.
A QUOTE WORTH READING:
“Never, ever underestimate the importance of having fun.”
~IT IS NEVER TOO LATE TO REDISCOVER FUN~
A LOT of dudes are struggling with this - fun - right now. I suppose it’s due to the chapter I and those in my circle are in - young and teen families. These thoughts were very topical and I’m grateful for the way you’ve expressed them.
I will challenge one point on the table that suggests Happiness can be internal or external. This conflicts with the ideas of Strategic Coach Dan Sullivan and Dr. Ben Hardy which teach the following:
“When you’re chasing happiness externally, it’s because you’re disconnected internally. Training yourself to be happy is completely internal. There is no external progress, no external validation. You’re competing against yourself—it is a single-player game.”
Enjoyed it Renzi! I appreciate your insights and thoughts. One of the thoughts that you brought to mind in talking about taking things too seriously is the impact it has on a team. When the leader takes things too seriously, so does the team. When the teams take things too seriously, the team members start to take themselves too seriously and this is a dangerous place to be.
When people take themselves too seriously, they are reluctant to ask for help, admit fault, own mistakes and they begin to pass blame. This can cost organizations dearly and not just money.
But there is hope. Taking yourself too seriously is a state of being and not an identity. Through intentional mindset reframing and retooling one can avoid this pitfall.
Thanks for the solid read.